Saturday, May 19, 2012


We live in a society where every thing is on a schedule. Whether the job requires a time card or not,  many of us are forced to be ever -conscious of the clock and this may not be the best way to work. We carry forward the habit of being time conscious for an occasion that does not need. 

Recently we planned for a movie to which my parents in law accompanied. Their home is two kilo meters away from ours. It was planned in such a way that they would come in the car and we would go in a bike. 

It was at the peak of sunshine when we started from home and my mom in law told me that we too could have joined them in the car and avoided the hot sun.

I felt she was right as it was a genuine concern. My husband was too time conscious that he wanted to be there half an hour before. Tickets were already booked online though. 

I was thinking from my mom in law's perspective.  She could have been happier on us accompanying her in the car .  For her the fun is not hanging out to a movie, it is about being with us. Any mother would naturally like to have her son around , that too when being a  week end or he was on a planned leave. 

I shared my thoughts to my  husband about it . Prioritizing is important here. I felt he should not have prioritized time at the cost of being togetherness. Losing first few scenes of the movie is really not a great loss , hence not worthy for a '' worry''. 

I would definitely not have an iota of guilt in case I was late for an outing like movie. 

To be honest I was never punctual during my college days. I request you not to be like me too. Let me not pat you on your wrong back. What I did was a mistake. 

I now have learnt to value time yet I suggest you to prioritize it in a right way. When it is an important occasion that demands our presence well in advance, we have to be on time. 

Job seekers and office goers need to be on time because that is how the society is structured. Here comes an opinion from a free lance writer living in the Pacific north west. '' Kori  Roadley Irons''  . She starts with a question.,''  Is there a way to let go of some of that time -consciousness to free up creativity and efficiency ?''  

She believes much time is spent and wasted checking with the clock and hence we may have to held back in terms of productivity , problem- solving capability and especially quality. 

I now stick on to a popular belief ,'' Over -doing of anything is always counter- productive.  

Try to relax being less time sensitive and to enjoy being conscious of others feelings and emotions. This is really a great man's work loved by God. 

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Be as a snug as a bug in a rug!


I have been contemplating on a conversation I had with my husband today morning. The topic is '' Being comfortable'' . Well we did not definitely talk on material comforts. Its about being at ease when you meet  the other person, how and on what grounds two persons become peaceful  each other with their presence and not.

This is quite commonly analyzed nowadays. I heard my friends say,'' We are pleased to work under that manager , we are not comfortable with that guy's attitude.. etc.''  I would like to give an other example. 

When I was working at HCL, my friend and I were put together in a nesting team as we were new comers. 
The team head was racketed by many for being rude, cold and authoritative, always trying to boss around , quite frequently belittling the other person to show off his greatness. The higher superiors too were accepting the fact that this guy was attitudinal and never holds smooth relationship in the office, hence he was graded low for a log time though his professionalism and expertise deserve a  promotion. 

My friend was happy to work under him said ,'' she did not come in touch with his impelling shouts with protruding eyes so far. I told her that I was waiting to move into another team at the earliest  and I hate to work with him.. God blessed me to run as faster as possible to another good production team. My work went smooth thereon. 

A few months later I chanced my soft skill trainer to whom I shared my experiences. She knew my old team head and was in the same opinion that everyone had towards him. She also gave me a billion dollar advise.

" When you and I say we are not comfortable with this person, actually we are not fine with certain aspects in our lives .. be it any. When we find these in some body we tend to keep away and that is not wrong also to run.''. 
To confirm my understanding I said,'' Suppose that I am not comfortable climbing  up a tree and hanging upside down for a long time but my friend forces me to do all the time she meets me, I will definitely tend to keep her away or I shall hide myself  when ever she comes though being my friend..right..??!!!'' ..

After some laughter renting the air, she said ,'' You are right actually, how could you suddenly imagine an example like that..? ''  The conversation went for a while , we had a cuppa tea and departed . 

I still carry this advise  in my heart and apply it when ever I come across ordeal days.  This is not just an advise but a great truth too which I heard it once again from a revered institution 'Oneness university'.

I later on  learned another interesting behavioural pattern from  my observation.  

Sometimes , we tend to change our talking manners depending upon the perceptions we carry about people we know ,and importantly when we find people of common interest we shall spend more time with them sharing ideas and if we find them moving a little bit out of the common interest , we rate them down leading to harsh clash.  

I would like to illustrate this. Mr X and Mr. Y are close relatives. They both love cycling , own separate cycles and go for a ride together praising the mode of transportation to be the best, cheapest and least affordable . Mr.X likes Mr.Y and starts to appreciate him to have found an interest in cycling and his simplicity.

After few weeks, Mr.Y chances a bullet ride , feeling it  beautiful , comfortable and equally interesting too.
He buys a bullet , starts to bike it. Occasionally accompanies Mr.X for  cycle rides. Mr.X throws a different behaviour, letting out some unkind words from a deep routed values he has upon cycling.  

He shouts at Mr.Y not for having bought a new bullet, but for not enjoying what Mr.X likes.

Here Mr.Y is shocked to receive such a heart breaking response, feeling uncomfortable totally ,decides to keep away from Mr.X . Thus turning a cold attitude towards each other and building perceptions on each other based on the new attitude formed in their minds now. 

The issue here is not valuing something so high, but constantly expecting the other person to be consistent in throwing the same high values on what you like  in the same fashion too. This kind of attitude also leads to an emotional clash bringing a break down. 

The greatest gift would be to learn the art of being at ease and making others feel the warmth of your presence.Letting others to make their own choices and  live in their space of freedom.Every body indeed expects concern and care. It may not be possible to cut copy paste the mother's care but sure easy to format it and present. 

You shall see  better results are achieved , be it in schools, colleges or work place.