Inner Integrity is all about being true to one self. Our beloved Mahatma had followed authenticity all the time. There is an interesting anecdote from 'My Experiments with truth'. Once Kasturiba refuses to obey his command to join the workers to clean the toilets. Gandhiji becomes angry and slaps her. Later on he realizes the slap was for disobeying him and not because she did not clean. This discovery is actually called by the saints and philosophers as Authenticity or Inner Integrity.
Since this morning I have been contemplating on my integrity issue. I used to think I would get peace and solace by serving others, by being a channel of the lord.. If I probe this deeper, I understand it is all a play of my mind as it gifts me a nice mask called "peace" that i am not even aware of . In fact this mask is not very different from the mirage of water in a desert. I feel I put on this mask many times, ( " I" spending time helping the blind, "I" serving food to the poor children, "I" cooking up a nice lunch, ....)
I know it is a nice feeling on one hand . Who doesn't like a mirage of water in a desert? On further questioning i feel there are probably two types of "peaceful states". One that emerges with the strong inclusion and illusion of "I". The other emerges out of great wisdom that states everything is an outcome of predetermined dynamics. For instance if I help somebody it is decided by God already and He is making it happen, if not through me, it may be through somebody. This Wisdom yields a great state of "Silence" - no thought flow at all , in other words i would like to call this as , "The Pearl of Peace"!! There is no "I" involved in this peace. A person in this great state cannot think , "I did this, XXX benefited only through me, ...etc". He shall be witnessing all that is done by the immortal hence seeking no recognition or rewards when he discovers that God is at work, God is in action through him.
How do I get this "Illusion Free Mind" ? I know it is available only in the spiritual market.
Perhaps I need to be in touch with the original Manufacturer of the product to help me with. :)
With prayers ahead , let me take a steady inward journey to hear lot more the music of many slender strings of my life.